Self-Compassion
Understanding self-compassion
You’ve probably been told to be kinder or more forgiving toward yourself—but that can be hard when you’re under pressure. Self-compassion means approaching yourself with care and kindness, especially during life’s daily challenges. Studies show it can be a powerful tool for coping with stress, regulating negative emotions, and building resilience.
Self-care vs. self-compassion
Self-care includes the actions you take to support your mental and physical health. That might mean taking a break, exercising, sleeping, or treating yourself. These practices can be powerful—but they often require time, energy, or money.
Self-compassion is different. It’s not an action—it’s a mindset. Self-compassion is how you treat yourself when things get hard. It’s about meeting yourself with kindness, even when you’re struggling.
Example:
Let’s say you walk out of a tough midterm feeling overwhelmed. Your inner voice says,
“I suck. I know I failed. I’m going to fail this class…”
You think, “I need some self-care,” and head to a campus café to buy a favorite treat. But while eating, your thoughts spiral again: “I can’t believe I didn’t study more. I’ll never get an internship. I’m going to get kicked out of my major…”
That purchase didn’t actually help you feel better. The act of buying a treat might look like self-care, but without self-compassion—treating yourself with kindness—it doesn’t have much durable impact.
Why self-compassion matters:
Self-compassion is a mindset you carry with you 24/7. It helps you navigate stress, bounce back from setbacks, and even prevent stress from building up in the first place.
The three elements of self-compassion
Self-kindness
- Take breaks, go for walks, or ask for help when needed
- Use kind, supportive language when speaking to yourself
Common humanity
- Recognize that everyone makes mistakes and struggles
- Remind yourself: “I’m not alone in feeling this way.”
Mindfullness
- Acknowledge your feelings without judgment
- Try thoughts like: “I did the best I could.”
- Name your emotions and let them pass
Learn more about self-compssion
Explore how self-compassion connects to impostor syndrome, procrastination, and more in SHOP’s Mental Health Toolbox. It’s full of strategies, insights, and tools to help you support your mental well-being—on your own terms.