Sex and Sexuality
No one is born knowing everything they need to know about sex and sexuality, and comprehensive sexual and reproductive health education is often lacking at school and in our homes. You are not alone if you haven’t had sex before (around 35% of Banana Slugs reported never having had sex in the 2021 National College Health Association Survey). Whether you are new to exploring sexuality, trying to make things work with your polycule, or figuring out if you are on the asexual spectrum, SHOP can offer information and guidance to help you. But first, let’s make sure we are all on the same page. If you feel like you’ve got this, feel free to skip to the bottom of the page to learn more about our services.
A quick intro to sex & sexuality
We hear about sex and sexuality almost every day, but much of what we hear is inaccurate and can be confusing. A basic understanding of sex and sexuality can help us sort out myths from fact and help us all enjoy our lives more.
We are all sexual. We are sexual from the day we are born until the day we die. Our sexuality affects who we are and how we express ourselves as sexual beings.
Our sexuality includes:
- Our bodies, including our sexual and reproductive anatomy
- Our biological sex — male, female, or intersex
- Our gender — being a girl, boy, woman, man, genderqueer, or transgender
- Our gender identities — our comfort with and feelings about our gender
- Our sexual orientations — straight, lesbian, gay, bisexual
- Our sex drives
- Our sexual identity — the way we feel about our sex, gender, and sexual orientation
The ways we experience and express our sexuality include:
- Our body image — how we feel about our bodies
- Our desires, thoughts, fantasies, sexual pleasure, sexual preferences, and sexual dysfunction
- Our values, attitudes, beliefs, and ideals about life, love, and sexual relationships
- Our sexual behaviors — the ways we have sex, including masturbation
Our sexuality and the ways we experience and express it are influenced by:
- Our biology
- Our emotional lives
- Our family lives
- Our culture and our status in our culture
- Our ethical, religious, and spiritual upbringing and experience
Exploring Sex and Sexuality
Even though we spend our lifetimes as sexual beings, it’s normal to have many questions about sex and sexuality. And this is good because the more we know about sex and sexuality, the better we are able to take charge of our sex lives and our sexual health.
This is why SHOP offers resources on sexual and reproductive health. Students can drop into SHOP to learn more about upcoming events, including workshops by our Slug Love Team. In addition, you can always ask for an appointment to speak to a Health Educator by emailing SHOP or signing up for wellness coaching to talk with a professional staff one-on-one.
We are really open and there are no weird or silly questions. We can assist you with the following and more:
- Exploring birth control options
- How to prepare for having sex for the first time
- How to have safer sex, including learning how to use condoms and dental dams correctly
- Issues around consent
- Tips for healthy communication, including if you are poly or ENM
- Safety and consent with kink
- Coming out to family and friends